Debunking Myths About Sex Therapy
Beginning sex therapy is like starting any psychotherapy. You will be uncertain of the process or how you click with your therapist, not to mention being vulnerable with them. All of this is stressful. When you add the (falsely) verboten topic of sex into this mix of emotions and questions, things can get uncomfortable.
A sex therapist has the unique ability to be a non-judgmental expert on two things: mental health and sexual wellness. It's the best of both worlds, really, but there are still many common myths surrounding therapy for sexual health. Correcting these myths provides a broader understanding of sex therapy, how it "works," and how everyone can benefit.
Sex therapy is a vast umbrella term for psychotherapy that addresses relationships, libido, sexual pain and dysfunction, communication, intimacy, eroticism and how sexual health intrinsically links to your physical body and your mental health.
"Sex Therapy Focuses Too Much on How Sex Works"
When one part of your life impacts another, this can cause a chain reaction and put you into a cycle that can be tricky to break. For example, stressors at work slowly leak into relationships, which impacts sexual fulfillment, which creates more stress, which is never helpful.
Sex therapy's goal is to dive deep into all aspects of life and understand the connections, then work to heal those connections. And that may include some frank discussions about how sex works, but it's not always the focus.
"Sex Therapy Involves Physical Contact"
Sex therapy and sex coaching do not involve any physical contact with a therapist or coach. The sessions are talk therapy only.
Sessions provide a safe and supportive space where you can openly discuss your concerns, learn more about sexual health, and explore strategies to improve both intimacy and relationships. In this professional and judgment-free environment, you're encouraged to share your thoughts and goals at your own pace, knowing that your feelings and experiences are respected and understood.
"Therapy for Sex Problems Won't Solve My Depression or Anxiety or Physical Issue"
The benefit of working with a sex therapist is their expertise with the broader aspects of therapy. Many sex therapists are Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT) with experience diagnosing and treating all manner of psychological, emotional, and relational concerns.
Sex therapists also hold advanced certifications and education regarding many sexual issues. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) certifies therapists and counselors as Certified Sex Therapists (CST). Working with a sex therapist gives you guidance on your mental and sexual health.
"Sex Therapy Can't Help Erectile Dysfunction"
This myth overlooks the powerful mind-body connection. Stress, anxiety, depression, and performance issues are all major contributors to erectile dysfunction. There may be underlying physical issues, as well. With tools developed in partnership with a sex therapist, you can identify and manage any roadblocks healthily.
When helpful, it's not unusual for a counselor to work directly with a medical team to assist in creating a holistic plan for treating erectile dysfunction.
Learn more here: https://www.cindymichel.com/blog/compassionate-sex-therapy-for-erectile-dysfunction
"There's Nothing Sex Therapy Can Do For Pelvic Pain"
Pain during sex can be traumatic and create fear and hesitation about intimacy. Similarly to erectile dysfunction, addressing the emotional and mental connections to pelvic pain can alleviate discomfort. Sexual pain is a legitimate medical concern that deserves thorough, compassionate investigation. No one should suffer in silence or feel their discomfort is insignificant or unimportant.
Learning relaxation techniques, meditations, and other emotional management strategies from a sex therapist reduces pain-related anxiety and helps support a more pleasurable experience.
Learn more here: https://www.cindymichel.com/blog/vaginismus-help-los-angeles
"Why Go to Therapy When There's Porn? It Can Teach You Everything."
Pornography, when mistaken for authentic intimacy and healthy sex, promotes unrealistic and sometimes harmful ideals around sex. Porn is a fantasy played out by actors. Learning to differentiate porn between entertainment and consensual intimacy can be challenging, and sex therapy can help.
"There's No Need for Sex Therapy When My Libido and Desire Are Normal"
Desire and libido are unique experiences that manifest differently for everyone. Feeling like your desire and libido is "right or wrong" creates an unnecessary burden that can impact your mental health and sexual satisfaction. Desire and libido differences in coupled partners often lead to frustration, disappointment, or unnecessary pressures that damage the relationship.
Learning appropriate communication to develop true understanding and respect for differences can help increase intimacy and connection between partners.
"Single People Don't Need Sex Therapy"
Whether you're navigating intimacy concerns, healing from past experiences, managing sexual anxiety, or simply wanting to understand yourself better, sex therapy provides a safe space for growth and self-discovery. It's not just about sexual relationships with others. It's also about fostering a healthy, confident relationship with yourself.
"Couples Who Need Sex Therapy are Doomed"
All relationships face challenges, waxing and waning intimacy and change. It's what happens next that's important. Finding guidance and help from a sex therapist isn't a failure. It is finding the resolve and hope for better communication, intimate closeness, and new ways of expression in and out of the bedroom.
How is Sex Coaching Different Than Therapy?
Sex therapy often ventures deep into your traumas, experiences, and vulnerabilities surrounding your mental and sexual health. Evidence-based therapeutic modalities are the cornerstone of sex therapy and can improve both your overall psychological state as well as your sex life.
Sex coaching also addresses your sex life, but the focus is on education, technique, and empowering you. Both offerings are suited to single and partnered people.
You can find more information about what to expect and how to prepare for sex therapy here. https://www.cindymichel.com/sex-therapy
Exploring Options for Sex Therapy
Curious to learn more? I offer complimentary consultations where we can discuss your unique needs and how sex therapy can support you. I'd love to connect and help you on your journey.
Learn More About Me and My Services
Begin aligning with your life and goals today
Other Therapy Services By Cindy Michel, M.A., LMFT, CST
You may work with me in my Los Angeles office, or join me online for therapy in California, New Mexico, and Florida. For sex coaching you can work with me from anywhere in the world online. I also offer EMDR Therapy, Sexual Trauma Therapy, and Somatic Therapy.
You can learn more about sex coaching here: https://www.cindymichel.com/sex-coaching-los-angeles
Please reach out if you want to learn more about my other services and explore if therapy or coaching is right for you.