Enhance Your Well-Being with Sex Therapy for Singles

sex therapist and client discussing LGBTQIA issues in a telehealth session

Your sexual health intrinsically links to your being and is independent of your relationship status. It's only one aspect of mental and physical health that needs nurturing.

It might feel counterintuitive to consider sex therapy as a single person, but single-hood has its own set of challenges. Your sexual relationship with yourself is your most valuable sexual relationship. Your relationship status may impact your self image and overall well-being, which can seep into future relationships should you desire to pursue one.

Sex therapy for single folks is a specific form of self-care that supports growth, healing, and exploring.

Why Singles Benefit from Sex Therapy

You are a sexual being and deserve positive sexual health and happiness. Sex therapy provides a safe place for you to talk about sex, intimacy, and past relationships and how you can thrive now and in future relationships.

It's a myth that sex therapy only benefits couples. This specialized care focuses on personal growth and understanding oneself. You can talk about trauma, fears, sexual health, or any physical dysfunctions that impact your sexual well-being.

Sex therapy is also a safe place to explore gender identity and sexual orientation.

Sex Therapy for Personal Growth and Self-understanding

Internal and external influences creep into our minds and sway our feelings about ourselves.

Trauma or previous unhealthy relationships linger. Our childhood experiences, especially with parents and caretakers, will impact all aspects of our adult selves.

We must also contend with the skewed societal messaging that surrounds us. This false narrative stems from obvious sexual stimuli like advertising and pornography but is also prevalent in other ways. Religious beliefs, changing gender roles, and conflicts about bodily autonomy can also put external pressures on how we view ourselves and navigate society.

Non-sexual influences that impact sexuality

And if those things aren't enough, general stressors like jobs, children, depression, medications, and physical ailments will often dampen libido.

That's a lot to contend with. Even stressors that are not directly influencing your sexual health will alter how you feel about your sexual self.

Knowing yourself prepares you for dating and future relationships

You may be surprised to learn that sex therapy or sex coaching often explores your traumas, insecurities, and intimacy questions that are seemingly unrelated to sex. Sex therapy can look a lot like traditional talk therapy but with the benefit of exploring how these influences affect your outlook and feelings about sex.

While discovering and exploring all of these facets, you will improve your relationship with yourself and you can enter into future relationships in a healthy and balanced manner.

Why Single People May Seek Therapy

It's not uncommon for singles to experience sexual issues or have questions about their sex lives.

Sex therapy can help with:

man and therapist in a sex therapy session for singles in a peaceful office

Performance troubles and confidence issues

Struggling with performance issues is challenging, and is not always crisp and clear. There may be erectile dysfunction, or you may feed general anxiety about dating, intimacy, and how to be a great lover.

Your past relationships with parental figures may cloud your self-image as you navigate how to avoid becoming them.

You may feel that you are inexperienced or have past abandonment trauma that needs resolution. Fear of the unknown is certainly a valid concern and will impact sexual health.

Anorgasmia

The inability to orgasm can be frustrating and have physical and mental factors. Often, this lack of climax relates to pain during sex.

When considering performance and orgasm, it's often easy to carry those negative emotions and shame forward.

Seeking help as a single person can help you heal, learn, and move past these issues.

Questions about sexual activities

Sexual knowledge based on pornography can also create confusion and doubts. Or, there are questions about what is appropriate masturbation.

You may also be curious about kinks and fantasies and wonder if they are normal, and how to communicate them.

Conflicts about desiring certain kinks or a relationship

You might be unsure about your relationship goals. Do you want marriage, but also an open relationship? How do you bring up kinks, and how do you talk about your desires and increase intimacy?

Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation

Sexuality is a fluid concept and may be a source of confusion and fear. Therapy will help you explore both your identity and orientation safely and privately.

In figuring this out, you can determine what you desire and how to navigate the challenges that may come with your choices.

Challenges specific to LGBTQIA individuals

The LGBTQIA community has many sexual obstacles, just as heterosexual couples do. Confidence, knowledge, communication, overcoming the past, and facing unknowns are universal experiences.

The gay community also experiences oppression in many forms that can threaten the ability to be true to themselves. Understandably, for these reasons, there can be much hesitation and anxiety about venturing into new areas. You may be clear on your identity and sexuality, but still seek confidence and communication skills to explore outside of comfort zones around society and sex.

Unraveling society's labels and risks

Many in the LGBTQIA community learned that they are wrong, sinful, and bad for being gay. This trauma stems from media, religion, families, and everyday interactions and aggressions.

There can be no safe zone in society and relationships, which may translate into feeling unsafe within yourself.

The non-judgmental and sex-positive atmosphere of therapy is a place to land and work through everything that makes you who you are, and how to walk through life true to yourself.

Benefits of Sex Therapy for Single People

Personal growth, discovering and loving your true self, and increased self-awareness all bloom in therapy.

Sex therapy also gives you a toolbox of techniques to overcome issues that impact pleasure and connection. Your life can be richer and more fulfilling, regardless of your relationship status.

Counseling can help you find:

·      Enhanced sexual well-being and satisfaction

·      Ways to overcome sexual dysfunctions

·      Deeper intimate connection

·      A path to safely discovering and exploring kinks

·      Clarity about identity and orientation

Sex Therapy and Loneliness

Being single can leave you feeling isolated and alone. Understanding relationships, communication, and intimacy through therapy in a safe setting allows you to learn more about yourself.

As you gain insights into yourself, the loneliness and barriers to relationships can fade. You can also learn ways to find confidence to explore relationships, sexual or otherwise, and have a life that you envision.

Strategies in Sex Therapy That Promote Well-being

There is no magic formula for everyone's journey through counseling. There are dozens of valid reasons to seek help, and your story deserves the attention that best suits you.

Addressing trauma

Sexual trauma therapy is a tailored approach designed to support individuals in processing and recovering from the impact of past sexual trauma.

This type of therapy aims to address the body's biological stress responses, which are often activated by traumatic experiences, helping you understand and work through these effects.

Using techniques such as somatic therapy and other specialized methods, you can find relief from intense emotions like fear, anxiety, helplessness, and isolation.

A safe and nurturing environment is essential for exploring the emotional, mental, and sexual challenges that can arise from sexual abuse, and sexual trauma therapy (EMDR and brainspotting) provides the space needed to begin your journey toward healing.

A woman celebrating her sexuality after a sex therapy session

Other therapeutic techniques for singles

Your treatment plan may include modalities like education or psychodynamic therapy, which is a form of treatment that explores how past experiences and the unconscious mind influence present emotions and behaviors.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is another option. This evidence-based technique helps you discover your core Self, nurtures connections within, and helps to heal damaged inner parts.

Somatic therapy assists in deepening your connection with feelings and their physical manifestations, which may be unconscious.

The first steps

Developing a relationship with your therapist is the foundation for the work. Together, you will discover underlying beliefs, feelings, and forces that govern you.

Then, a plan is developed based on your needs and goals. Do you need empowerment, education, empathy, or guidance? Your individual plan will likely include different methods that support you. It's also possible that the plan evolves as you do.

There will also be room for learning between sessions, with practices and actions to incorporate into your daily routine.  

There is no set timeline or pressure during this process. Longer-term therapy (6 months or longer) may be the case, or sex coaching may suit your needs.

There may be no better act of self-care than to find personal growth and resolve past hurts. By learning mindful techniques and ideas from sessions, you can create happier and healthier relationships and have a fulfilling life.

Reach Out

I am here to help you discover a healthier sexual self. I have a sex-positive, safe, and healing environment to help you thrive.

I am available for in-person sessions in my Los Angeles office and also offer telehealth appointments to those in California, New Mexico, and Florida. 

Please reach out to schedule a complimentary consultation to explore your options. I look forward to meeting you!

Other Therapy Services By Cindy Michel, M.A., LMFT, CST

I also offer EMDR Therapy, Brainspotting, Ketamine-Assisted Therapy, and Somatic Therapy. I also provide Sex Coaching Services. Please reach out if you want to learn more about my other services and explore if therapy or coaching is right for you.

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Anorgasmia in Women: Reclaim Your Pleasure & Sexual Health