Finding Intimacy and Confidence: A Compassionate Approach to Premature Ejaculation Control
As a sex therapist and registered nurse, I've had the privilege of working with many individuals and their partners as they navigate challenges involving sexual intimacy and mental health. A common area of concern is around the timing and rhythms of arousal and orgasmic release. Although a widespread experience, early ejaculation frequently triggers profound embarrassment, anxiety, and avoidance around foreplay, sexual intercourse, and intimacy.
When someone comes to me with this concern, I provide a judgment-free space where we can openly explore this challenge using an integrated, compassionate approach. You deserve a fulfilling sex life, and I help provide a holistic approach to moving toward more sexual satisfaction in your life.
The Experience of Ejaculatory Timing Issues
For some, ejaculation may occur sooner than desired before or shortly after penetration, with a sense of minimal control over timing. For others, rapid ejaculation happens with little sexual stimulation. This type of experience (often referred to as premature ejaculation or PE) can understandably provoke intense feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy, and fear of disappointing your partner.
The psychological impacts of resulting performance anxiety are often more painful than the physiological aspects. You may feel embarrassed, ashamed, and hopeless about your perceived inability to "last longer" and delay ejaculation, which is a natural experience. The anxieties around sexual experiences and fears of "failing" yet again can become overwhelmingly distracting during intimacy and sexual activity.
When working to reframe your sexual health, we must tend to your entire being. You are more than a body and medical condition; your emotions and mental health deserve healing, too.
Cycles of Avoidance
For many, ejaculatory timing concerns have created harmful cycles of avoiding sexual intimacy entirely to protect their self-esteem and spare partners from disappointment. You may experience strained relationships, depression, detached behavior, and a profound loss of sexual confidence and sex drive. Breaking these patterns of avoidance and restoring intimacy is often the top priority.
Compassionate understanding about early orgasm
From the onset and throughout our work together, I strive to understand your experience and context fully. This means sensitively exploring all the potential contributing factors, such as possible medical issues, hormonal influences, relationship dynamics, past sexual experiences, and psychological factors, including anxiety or depression.
The simple act of being able to share your experience often begins relieving immense burdens of shame. You have my acceptance and support to openly discuss your sexual desire, hopes, expectations, your relationship with your sexual partner, and any other concerns you have.
An Integrated Approach to Ejaculation Control
I integrate various research-supported therapeutic methods, including mindfulness and behavioral therapy techniques that can be suited to your specific preferences, psychological factors, needs, aspirations, and comfort.
Body and mind education
Psychoeducation - Providing details about anatomy, the ejaculatory process, sexual response cycles, and the wide range of normality in ejaculatory timing.
De-pathologizing the experience - Exploring assumptions, sociocultural expectations, and external pressures that may undermine sexual confidence and working to overcome these forces.
Pelvic Floor Exercises - Teaching tailored practices to improve pelvic floor muscle awareness and control. These may include Kegel exercises and masturbation aids and other techniques.
Medication - Coordinating with your urologist, psychiatrist, or primary care physician on hormone levels and medications like Viagra, anesthetics, supplements, or antidepressants, including fluoxetine and other SSRIs, or where appropriate.
Mindfulness approaches to ejaculatory control
Mindfulness Training - Grounding practices to stay anchored in pleasurable sensations instead of anxious self-observation.
Nervous System Regulation – Techniques for bringing the autonomic nervous system into a state of relaxation and calm to create space for pleasure and connection.
Sensate Focus Exercises - A structured program of solo and partnered, non-goal oriented touching to build comfort and stamina. This allows you to take simple steps while exploring, touching, and being touched.
Sex therapy as a guide
Throughout this holistic process, I serve as an empathetic guide - gently encouraging a "staying present," letting go of judgments, and reconnecting with a pleasure-focused paradigm around sexuality.
Finding Patience and Celebration - For many, it's essential to release ingrained notions that conflate masculinity with specific "sexual performance" standards. I help clients explore a fuller, more expansive experience of eroticism beyond a focus on ejaculatory control.
This may mean taking penetrative sex "off the table" temporarily to build sexual skills and confidence through whole-body sensations, breath work, sensual massage, and more. Approaching intimacy with patience and a sense of curiosity can be incredibly liberating.
With the proper guidance and mindset, what was once a source of anxiety can transform into an opportunity for growth, deeper connection, and a more expansive experience of pleasure and eroticism. The path may have its ups and downs, but celebrating each step forward is the key to ultimately regaining a sense of mastery and freedom in one's sexual well-being.
There is no need to journey alone
Through empathetic and compassionate collaboration, open communication, and a willingness to explore new perspectives, the therapist and client can co-create the safe, judgment-free space needed for the client to unlock new possibilities in their most intimate self.
Premature ejaculation help in Los Angeles
My background as a Registered Nurse (RN) gives me clinical knowledge about the mechanisms behind sexual function, and my work in sex therapy as a psychotherapist provides me with a unique perspective to help you find sexual pleasure and fulfillment.
If this resonates with you, please request a complimentary phone or video consultation to see if we are a good fit.
I will meet with you virtually, providing telehealth services in the comforts of your own home. My availability extends to nights and weekends. I look forward to hearing from you, and will be in contact soon.
Learn more about my studies and approaches to sexual health here.