Healing A Sexless Marriage

Sexual intimacy is an essential facet of relationships and marriage that builds health and happiness. But, sometimes, through no fault of our own, a sexless marriage can become a reality. A lack of sex can strain even the most solid relationship, leaving you with frustrations, loneliness, and hurt.

You and your partner can overcome a sexless relationship. Understanding the circumstances that created this inertia is the first step in healing. Then, working to reconnect with meaningful and thoughtful communication can pave the way to a rekindled sex life.

Defining what "sexless" really means

A sexless marriage is not synonymous with a lack of love or emotional connection. Instead, partners may find themselves living without any sex or intimate acts. Or perhaps intimacy is slowly declining, impacting other aspects of life. It's also possible that the quality of sexual encounters is diminished.

However you choose to frame it, the underlying thread is missing fulfillment. Sometimes, you and your partner need help to get back on course and restore that physical intimacy. 

Understanding the Causes Behind the Lack of Intimacy

There are countless reasons for a loss of interest in sex. Differing libidos, health troubles, and communication breakdowns can start the cycle of disconnection, emotional wounds, and then further distance. Only by working through your unique relationship can the causes be uncovered to begin restoring affection, intimacy, and a satisfying sex life.

Emotional disconnection and communication struggles

Emotional disconnection and subsequent communication struggles often stem from the not-talking and not-listening cycle. Expressing one's needs and desires with a spouse or partner can be difficult and frightening, and brushing things under the rug is human nature. This disconnection grows over time and directly impacts the physical relationship, too. Infidelity is another contributing factor.

Thoughtfully repairing communication obstacles will rebuild that emotional union that is the foundation of intimacy. Individual and couples therapy sessions are a great place to start in a supportive environment.

Health issues and medications affecting libido

Sexual dysfunction and other health issues influence libido. It's easy to assign sexual health issues like a woman's pelvic pain or a man's erectile dysfunction as a singular reason for creating a sexless partnership. Let's not forget about chronic illness, medications, birth control methods, and even antidepressants that negatively affect desire and performance.

Your healthcare team has a vital role in addressing these concerns. To fully address these issues holistically, working with a sex therapist can address the ramifications of how medical issues and the subsequent mental challenges that affect your sex life.

Stress, work, and lifestyle factors

Stress can consume our waking thoughts and, therefore, affect our libido. It can become impossible to find the time to have meaningful sex with your partner. Parenting, work, and the busy lifestyle that is prevalent in today's society often precede quality time with our partners, and healthy sex can disappear.

Understanding and overcoming chronic and sudden stressful factors will help you find meaningful time and space with your loved one.

Mental health

Mental health contributes to your sexual health, and vice versa. Anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, and the resulting challenges to self-esteem and well-being make sexual intimacy seem impossible. Layered upon that is past trauma or latent emotional pain that interferes with your love life.

Working through such complex feelings and challenges becomes safer and more productive with a compassionate guide experienced in trauma and sexual health.

The Role of Sex Therapy

Sex therapy can play a significant role in addressing and healing a sexless marriage. Sex therapy allows you to explore, individually or as a couple, in a safe and non-judgmental space how communication, health concerns, and past experiences influence the present.

I provide kind guidance for you and your partner to navigate any reasons for the change in your sex life. I can teach you positive ways to actively communicate and listen to understand your partner's traumas, desires, and obstacles.

I will also help you explore solo and partnered exercises and relationship-building opportunities. I can teach you how to prioritize each other and safely express strong emotions.

Sex therapy is not a quick fix. Instead, it's a meaningful way to heal, learn, grow, and fully explore your romantic relationship.

Can a marriage recover from being sexless?

Yes, a marriage can recover from being sexless. By addressing the underlying issues, improving communication, letting go of resentment, and seeking professional help, you and your partner can revive your sexual desire and rebuild an emotional connection.

Are there any warning signs that a marriage may become sexless?

Yes, there are warning signs that a marriage may become sexless. These can include a lack of sexual activity, communication breakdowns, emotional disconnect, and a decrease in overall intimacy. Recognizing these signs and addressing them early on can help prevent a sexless marriage and maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Reach out to begin finding a fulfilling sex life

If you would like to strengthen your relationships and overcome a partnership or marriage without sex, I am happy to help. Join me for a complimentary consultation to determine if sex therapy is right for you.

I offer telehealth sex therapy in my Los Angeles office. If connecting virtually feels more comfortable, I provide telehealth sessions for those in California, Florida, and New Mexico. I look forward to meeting you.