Sex Therapy Tips - How Often Should You Go To Therapy?
If you're considering sex therapy, you've already taken a courageous step toward improving your intimate life, relationships, and overall well-being. As a sex therapist with years of experience helping individuals and couples navigate sexual concerns, I understand how vulnerable it can feel to seek support in this area.
One of the most common questions I hear from new clients is: "How often should I attend sex therapy?" The answer isn't one-size-fits-all. It depends on your individual needs, goals, and circumstances. In this blog, I'll guide you through this therapeutic journey and the factors that influence the frequency of sessions, what to expect in therapy, and how to determine the appropriate schedule for your mental health.
Understanding Sex Therapy
Before discussing the "right" frequency, it's essential to clarify what sex therapy is (and what it isn't). The frequency of your sessions may also evolve during your mental health journey, and the number of sessions can vary widely.
Sex therapy is talk therapy—it does not involve physical contact or sexual activity with the therapist.
It addresses a wide range of concerns, including low desire, erectile dysfunction, painful sex, mismatched libidos, sexual trauma, performance anxiety, and more.
It integrates emotional, psychological, and relational factors that impact sexual well-being. Many significant life events, trauma, and daily stressors influence your sexual health, and a licensed therapist can help you find a deeper understanding of these connections.
Because sexual issues are often deeply intertwined with emotions, relationships, and self-perception, therapy requires time, patience, and consistency with regular sessions. And while weekly sessions may suit some, you may make significant progress with fewer or more meetings. Having regular therapy sessions helps you forge a healthy therapeutic relationship with a mental health provider and makes the therapeutic process a consistent force in your life.
How to Know If You Need Sex Therapy
Many wonder whether their concerns are "serious enough" to warrant therapy. If something is affecting your happiness, relationship, or self-esteem, it's worth addressing. Here are some signs that sex therapy might be beneficial for you:
You're Experiencing Persistent Sexual Difficulties
Physical challenges: Pain during sex (vaginismus, dyspareunia), erectile dysfunction, difficulty reaching orgasm.
Arousal/desire issues: Low libido, lack of interest in sex, or feeling disconnected from your body.
Performance anxiety: Worrying about "performing" rather than enjoying intimacy.
Your Relationship is Strained Due to Sexual Issues
Mismatched libidos: One partner wants sex much more or less than the other, leading to frustration or resentment.
Avoidance of intimacy: You or your partner withdraw from physical connection due to fear, shame, or unresolved conflict.
Recurring arguments about sex that never get resolved and difficulty with honest communication.
Learn more about mixed desire here: https://www.cindymichel.com/blog/mixed-desire-in-relationships
Past Trauma is Affecting Your Sex Life
Sexual abuse or assault that makes intimacy triggering.
Religious or cultural shame around sexuality.
Negative early experiences that shaped your views on sex.
You're Navigating a Major Life Transition
Pregnancy/postpartum changes in body and desire.
Menopause or andropause (male hormonal shifts) affects sexuality.
Gender transition and exploring new aspects of sexual identity.
You Feel Shame, Anxiety, or Confusion About Sex
Embarrassment about discussing sex, even with a partner. Your communication skills may need support.
Fear of being "broken" or abnormal (spoiler: you're not!)
Uncertainty about desires (e.g., questioning kinks, orientation, or attraction).
You Want to Improve Your Sexual Confidence & Pleasure
Therapy isn't just for "problems"—it can also help you:
Communicate desires more openly.
Explore pleasure without guilt.
Deepen emotional and physical connection with a partner.
Still unsure? Ask yourself: Is my concern causing distress or affecting my quality of life? If yes, mental health support could help. The benefits of therapy also stretch beyond the bedroom and can improve other aspects of your life as you come to prioritize personal growth and tend to your mental health challenges.
How Often Should You Go to Therapy? Consider these factors:
The Nature of Your Concern
Some sexual concerns can be resolved in just a few sessions, while others require longer-term work.
Short-term issues (e.g., adjusting to a new medication affecting libido, brief performance anxiety) may only need 4-6 sessions spaced biweekly.
Longer-term or complex issues (e.g., recovering from sexual trauma, overcoming deep-seated shame, repairing intimacy after infidelity) may require several months or more of weekly or biweekly sessions.
Whether You're Attending as an Individual or a Couple
Individuals may progress faster if the issue is personal (e.g., body image, past trauma).
Couples often need more sessions to work through communication barriers, rebuild trust, and align sexual desires.
Your Goals for Therapy
Are you looking for quick strategies to improve intimacy, or are you exploring deeper emotional and psychological roots of your sexual concerns?
Skill-building goals (e.g., learning arousal techniques and improving communication) may require fewer sessions.
Exploratory or healing-focused goals (e.g., processing trauma, unpacking religious or cultural shame) often take longer.
Your Availability
Therapy is an investment of time, energy, and money. While weekly sessions are often ideal for momentum, biweekly or monthly sessions can still be practical if that fits your life.
Many sessions can happen from the comfort of your home. Many types of therapy, including sex therapy, are possible with today's technologies that provide security and privacy.
Progress and Homework Compliance
Sex therapy often includes exercises to practice between sessions (e.g., mindfulness, sensate focus, communication practices). Clients who actively engage in these assignments may progress faster.
Common Session Frequency Options
Based on clinical experience, here's a general framework for session frequency:
Weekly Sessions (Recommended for Most New Clients)
Best for:
Crisis situations (e.g., recent infidelity, sudden sexual dysfunction).
Deep emotional work (e.g., trauma processing).
Couples in high conflict.
Why? Attending sessions on a weekly basis maintains momentum, provides consistent support, and allows for gradual, structured progress.
Biweekly Sessions (Common After Initial Progress)
Best for:
Clients who have stabilized their initial concerns.
Those implementing new skills and needing time to practice.
Maintenance and check-ins.
Why? This spacing allows time to integrate changes without losing progress.
Monthly Sessions (Maintenance or Tune-Ups)
Best for:
Clients who have met their primary goals but want occasional support.
Preventative work for long-term sexual wellness.
Why? It helps sustain progress without the intensity of frequent sessions.
Intensive Therapy (Multiple Sessions Per Week)
Best for:
Couples in distress needing rapid intervention.
Clients preparing for a major life change (e.g., post-surgery, transitioning).
Why? Accelerating breakthroughs in a short period can happen with more frequent therapy sessions.
Signs You Might Need More Frequent Sessions
You feel stuck or overwhelmed between sessions.
Conflict escalates quickly (common for couples).
New layers of the issue emerge (e.g., uncovering past trauma).
Signs You Might Be Ready to Space Out Sessions
You consistently feel better between sessions.
You're successfully applying new skills.
Your original concerns have significantly improved.
You are reaching your treatment goals.
How Long Does Sex Therapy Typically Last?
Brief therapy: 4-12 sessions (for specific skill-building or situational concerns). These are usually weekly therapy sessions.
Moderate-term therapy: 3-6 months (for deeper relational or psychological work).
Long-term therapy: 6 or more months (for complex trauma, identity exploration, or chronic sexual health conditions).
Learn more about sex therapy here: https://www.cindymichel.com/sex-therapy
It's a Personal Journey
There's no "right" or "wrong" frequency—only what works best for you. A good therapist will collaborate with you to adjust the schedule as needed. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Your sexual well-being matters, and with the proper support, meaningful change is possible.
You may also find that individual therapy is best for you, or couples therapy could be beneficial instead. There is no definite answer to what will work best for you. Sex therapy is an ongoing process with various factors that can change your therapy goals as you move along.
If you're unsure where to start, I recommend:
Committing to 4-6 weekly sessions to establish rapport and clarity.
Re-evaluate with your therapist after that to adjust the frequency of therapy sessions if needed.
Your treatment plan may also evolve.
How Many Therapy Sessions Do You Need?
Depending on your therapy goals, availability, and progress, you may need a handful of sessions, or you may benefit from a long-term commitment to understanding your mental health. The important thing is not the quantity of sessions, but instead that therapy is helping you live a more fulfilling life.
If you're ready to explore sex therapy with a licensed mental health professional, I invite you to reach out for a consultation. Together, we can create a plan that honors your needs and pace.
Request a free 15-minute phone consultation to explore whether therapy or coaching suits you.
I am available in person for sex coaching and sex therapy in Los Angeles, and I also offer telehealth therapy to clients in California, New Mexico, and Florida. Thank you for reaching out. I look forward to meeting you!