What to Do When Feeling Disconnected from Your Partner
Feeling disconnected from a partner can be challenging and distressing. It can leave us feeling lonely, unfulfilled and insecure about the future with our loved ones. Sensing detachment from a relationship is a common issue and can be overcome with supportive strategies and kind, professional guidance.
Identifying Disconnection in Your Relationship
You may experience emotional, mental, sexual, and spiritual disconnection with your partner. You may have feelings of loneliness, frustration, anger, and resentment bubbling up.
Acknowledging this evolution within relationships is complex, and rebuilding the emotional and physical connections can seem overwhelming. It can seem easier in the moment to continue on autopilot, hoping something will change. If you continue to feel anxious or unhappy about your relationship and you are not able to make effective change, therapy can help. I provide confidential relationship counseling where you can learn healthy ways to communicate and reconnect emotionally and physically.
Signs of mental and emotional disconnection in a relationship
Our bodies and brains are formed to experience emotional connections with ourselves and others. Sometimes, expressing those feelings seems unsafe. In turn, you learn to disconnect from all emotions - both the painful and pleasurable ones. The resulting rift in your relationship may express itself as anger, impatience, jealousy, and resentment, and the emotional intimacy that once brought you together is now diminished.
There is hope. As a guide, I can help you understand the increasing mental distance between you and your partner and help you get back to open communication. Previous conflicts that arise and persist move toward resolution with new methods of connection, and your general feelings of detachment and loneliness can mend.
Are you spiritually disconnected from your partner?
When you feel that shared values and beliefs diverge from your partner's, you sense a spiritual disconnection. You may experience a lack of shared meaning or purpose with your partner, often ending with a sense of emptiness and discourse.
When conversations too often lead to fighting and more disconnection, we stop trying. The anticipated pain doesn’t seem worth the effort. Though difficult, compassionately guided open conversations will find common ground and the unity that is so satisfying about having a true-life partner. When this communication improves, your relationship experiences a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Physical detachment within couples
As distance between loving partners expand, you may feel a decrease in affection and touching, as if a canyon exists between you. Mental and sexual intimacy are both impacted, and the physical detachment will enhance the feelings of disconnection you already have.
There is work to be done to prioritize physical communication in your relationship. This can include simple touching, such as holding hands or hugging, and engaging in intimate activities. Reestablishing physical closeness boosts the overall connection and strengthens the bonds in your partnership.
You do not have to make this healing journey alone. I fully support your desired outcomes and will help you find the best ways to begin creating positive and secure attachments in your physically intimate bond.
Can Past Experiences Impact Your Current Connections?
Recognizing the impact of past resentments and traumas are not always obvious or comfortable, and sometimes, we don't appreciate the impact our past experiences have on our current relationships. Healing from past struggles, mental health problems, and trust issues is one way to overcome being disconnected from your partner.
https://www.cindymichel.com/sexual-trauma-therapy
Importance of personal development for relationship reconnection
Prioritizing your health and well-being brings healing energy to you and your relationships. Personal development involves self-reflection, setting goals, and engaging in activities that promote mental, emotional, and spiritual growth, which reflects in your emotional availability with your lover. Sometimes, this personal development benefits from that of an expert.
My work as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Sex Therapist (CST) allows us to navigate events from the past to create a healthy future within your comfort zones and timelines. This might look like individual therapy or couples counseling and involve talk therapy or evidence-based techniques.
https://www.cindymichel.com/blog/blog-post-trauma-informed-sex-therapy
Move towards a deep bond with these strategies
During disconnection and detachment from your partner, you can take steps to heal the relationship. Here are some steps to rebuilding a healthy connection:
Acknowledge and communicate that you feel disconnected
Seek professional support from a couple’s therapist or sex therapist
Create a roadmap for healing alongside your partner and therapy provider
Strive for honesty and openness as communication improves
View your partner with empathy and understanding
Engage in fun therapy activities that support bonding and connection
Give yourself permission for healthy self-care and individual growth like journaling, exercising, or enjoying a hobby
Play with homework and communication exercises from your trusted therapist, and perhaps dedicated time for deeper conversations
Allow time for healing and rebuilding trust
Rekindling Intimacy and Sexual Connection without Resentment
Rekindling sexual connection involves openly discussing desires and fantasies, prioritizing intimacy, and exploring new ways to enhance pleasure and connection. Create an environment of trust and emotional safety where both partners feel comfortable expressing their needs and desires.
Engage in activities that promote emotional and physical closeness, such as cuddling, kissing, and spending quality time together. These tender interactions boost connection and lead to a more fulfilling sex life.
As a sex coach, I provide resources, education, and guidance to help you find pleasure, increase your emotional bonds, and have healthy communication. This may even look like fun "homework" activities to experiment with. I offer a safe and non-judgmental space for couples to address sexual concerns and overcome challenges.
https://www.cindymichel.com/sex-coaching-los-angeles
When you feel the signs of disconnection, there is much to consider. The journey to mending this physical and emotional distance is worth taking, and I am here to help you.
Request a free 15-minute phone consultation to explore whether therapy or coaching in Los Angeles suits you.
To help you take the first steps to a more fulfilling romantic partnership, I am available in person for therapy in Los Angeles. I also offer virtual sessions for clients in California, New Mexico, and Florida.